Real Love

Peace is every step
Paz a cada passo.

“If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.”

Eu leio algumas passagens de livros budistas sempre que dá. Elas me enchem de calma e diminuem minha ansiedade. Tenho sensação de reconectar comigo mesmo, com a minha vida consciente e, me sinto melhor no geral.

Fico capaz de pensar nos outros novamente e, sinto menos medo, ou, mais coragem pra viver. (Acho que talvez seja essa uma das razões para muitas religiões prescreverem a leitura de textos sagrados com regularidade.)

Com essa chuva de hoje, abri e folheei o livro escrito pelo monge vietnamita budista Thich Nhat Hanh em Peace in Every Step e tirei essa passagem:

Real Love

Thich Nhat Hanh in Vught, the Netherlands, 2006
Thich Nhat Hanh in Vught, the Netherlands, 2006 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. you cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.

From time to time, sit close to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, “Darling, do I understand you enough? or am I making you suffer? Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly. I don’t want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be happy.” If you say this in a voice that communicates your real openness to understand, the other person may cry. Thais is a good sign, because it means the door of understanding is opening and everything will be possible again.

Maybe a father does not have time or is not brave enough to ask his son such a question. Then the love between them will not be as full as it could be. We need courage to ask these questions but if we don’t ask, the more we love, the more we may destroy the people we are trying to love. True love needs understanding. With understanding, the one we love will certainly flower.

de Thich Nhat Hanh em Peace in Every Step de 1991.



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